Posted from Mobile: 15 May 2010 04:35

Ailsa’ asleep and I’m sat on a chair in the corner of the very hot room looking up baby names on apps on my phone but my head’s still spinning.
I think the thing that really unsettles me the most is thinking about the doctor’s answer to my question ‘I don’t know’ now I can understand that they still don’t know what causes preeclampsia and can understand they can only go off previous experiences but if the baby’s happy at the moment, is inducing really the right thing to do?
I keep asking myself the same thing over and over … if Ailsa’s blood pressure wasn’t spotted, would she carry naturally and normally to term and what used to happen before doctors and medical machines?  Now I guess a medical response to that would be more baby and mother fatalities but is that really true?
So bloody annoying not knowing what to do for the best. I’m just crossing my fingers that Ailsa’s BP will come down and stay down but who knows what will happen?
Life’s rubbish at times.